What Love Means
by Page-Mistress
Summary: Just a glimpse into some of the different ways Zed and Patricia see their relationship and what love has come to mean to them. Also some of the ways they've changed for each other, because a healthy relationship means that you both grow as people. Rating for mentions of past violence, and mentions of sex. Just covering my bases.


Dedicated to Ladytalon. She's done more work contributing to this pairing than I have, has written more stories than me, but due to being as big a dork as me, decided to read one of my first story for these two back in 2015, and to my bewilderment actually admires me for it.

Honestly, knowing at least one other person will be interested in this is enough.

* * *

Love wasn't something Zed had ever thought he'd find. Not that people didn't fall in love on Pandora. He just never bothered looking for it.

And then Patricia Tannis enters his world, and between being physically attracted to her and growing fond of her as a person he falls in love. And then he learns what it means.

Love means that, when they argue, they talk about it later, because it feels too damn awkward hanging over their heads. And because ignoring it would probably just make it worse later.

Love means that sometimes, it's best to let her rant for a while before he try saying anything, because not getting it off her chest means that she just gets even more frustrated, and increases the chance of her throwing her hands up and leaving for hours, claiming that he "just doesn't get it, why did I even expect you to get it?" It also means, however, that when she's not too worked up with her rant, he can interrupt and point things out to her, and she might realize he's right and thank him.

Love means that becoming aware of cute, quirky habits; like how putting her goggles over her eyes means she's in "serious work mode" and trying to get something done. Or that she wears a matching set of underwear with a flower pattern whenever the weather is bad because she likes knowing she's wearing something cute the world can't see, and it puts her in a better mood on those days. Or that for all that she has trouble with people, she's weirdly fine with animals, and will allow them to get close to her, and even greet them.

Love means that he doesn't need to really get all of the quirks, and they both find compromises for them, like the fact that she isn't ready to permanently move in with him, so he gives her space for some of her stuff at his place, and she makes room for some of his, and yeah trying to keep track of what stuff is where is annoying but worth it. Or when she agrees not to complain so much when he interrupts her work to remind her that she needs to, you know, eat. In exchange, she reminds him to clean his equipment more regularly (the compromise being both think it's annoying but know it's in their best interest).

Love means he pays attention to what makes her uncomfortable, like when a social situation is starting to become too much for her, and knowing when to help her get away from it, even for a little while. Or trying to notice when not sleeping is from her just being busy, or dealing with nightmares, and if it's the latter inviting himself to sleep over with her.

Love means that sometimes when she wants him to sleep over, it means just that. and he's fine with that, because he just likes being with her.

Love means he pays attention to what she likes with sex, and doesn't even try to push her when she says she doesn't want to do something.

Love means he tries to wake up before her just so he can watch her sleep for a little bit, and just enjoy the moment. It means waking up in the night because she's having a bad dream and pulling her to him so she doesn't feel alone.

Love means he has a very strong urge to find the people at Dahl who decided it was okay to just leave her here, even if it means he met her, and punch them in the face. He doesn't care if she wanted to stay, he's not letting go of the urge to punch them.

Love means sometimes he wants to smack himself when he realizes he did something wrong with her. And he has, a few times, when no one was around, actually smacked himself in the face.

Love means being scared of the idea that one day she might leave, but being willing to not stand in her way.

Love means that sometimes he just wants to hold her as close as he can and never let go. Not even for any reason. And sometimes, he listens to that impulse.

Love means that sometimes he goes and picks flowers for her just because he wants to give her something nice.

Love means calling her when she's away on trips just because he wants to know she's okay. And then listening to her ramble on about whatever because he misses her voice.

Love means he grins like an idiot and feels like his heart is going to explode just thinking about someday, maybe, making a sign for Fyrestone that says "Population: 2".

Love means that Patricia makes him feel complete.

* * *

Patricia Tannis had, long ago, resigned herself to the idea that she wouldn't find love. Just the idea of dating would send her into a panic attack. After all, she wasn't normal by any means, so who would want a relationship with her?

Apparently, all she had to do was come to Pandora, be left her, go through hell, survive, and get to know to know Dr. Zed Blanco in order to find it.

And apparently, love means a lot more than she initially believed, even with all the observations she has of her parents.

Love means talking to him after they argue and listening to what he has to say. Because while it is possible to survive Pandora and still be an idiot, he's not one of those people. And for all that he lacks a license, he is rather skilled.

Love means listening to what he has to say after she's done ranting about something, and knowing that if he does it while she's ranting, it'll never be when she's too worked up about something. And sometimes, what he tells her makes her look at the situation differently.

Loves means growing fond of some of his odd habits, like the fact he often wears that mask over his nose and mouth no matter what he does. She isn't sure why, but she finds it endearing when he pulls it down just to give her a quick kiss. Or the fact that he likes talking to people while he works on them, which started as a way to kill boredom in Fyrestone.

Love means that she doesn't have to understand all of his habits, just compromise with him on some of them. she gets to remind him to clean his equipment more regularly without him complaining too much in exchange for not complaining too much when he interrupts her work to remind her to eat, and do as he requests. She doesn't understand why, because she always eats eventually, but he apparently prefers she eat regularly throughout the day instead, even though she's so used to this it's hard to stop. He did this even before they were together in anyway, too.

Love means knowing he'll keep an eye on her in stressful situations, so that if she becomes overwhelmed he'll swoop in and save her. Sometimes he just takes her to another room or area, and sometimes if he can't do that then he'll just distract her with a conversation. A few times, he's just held her hand and she's focused on that, blocking the rest of the world around her. it means that when she starts having nightmares, all she has to do is ask and he'll spend the night with her.

Love means that they can share a bed without doing anything. That after long, stressful days, they can just go to bed and sleep and sometimes he'll say something schmaltzy like how tomorrow's already shaping up to be better because he gets to wake up to her, just to make her smile. That his breathing can lull her to sleep.

Love means that when there's some sort of sexual act that she never, ever, wants to do (and she researched many things, in an attempt to not be caught off guard if they ever came up), he listens to her, and she only ever has to say it once. She finds herself working extra hard to remember the things he likes, because she wants him to feel good too.

Love means that sometimes, when she gets up before him, she'll find herself watching him sleep for a few minutes. And that sometimes she wakes up and he's looking at her like she's something extraordinary. And that sometimes she'll wake up and find he's holding her close as if to shield her from the world or keep her from being taken and if it's late enough she can easily slip back to sleep.

Love means she feels touched whenever he talks about finding the people at Dahl who left her here and punching them for her. It may be a primitive and barbaric declaration of how much he cares about her, but she never thought someone would want to defend her like that in her life and just the fact it bothers him enough to say that means so much.

Love means feeling bad when she thinks she may have made some sort of mistake with something she did or said.

Love means that even if neither of them is interested in roleplaying in the bedroom, all those costumes she bought after three days and nights of no sleep because it somehow made sense at the time months before she came to Pandora (and taken with her only to keep anyone else from realizing she had them) will be brought out when she feels like doing something special.

Love means she's far more okay with staying on Pandora and just going to visit other places than she ever used to be. because she's not going to force him to leave permanently, and really it has grown on her.

Love means that sometimes she just holds him because she wants to, because sometimes he does that too, and neither one of them has any reason to complain. And that she doesn't care if they're in public (quite a few residents find these interactions adorable).

Love means she feels special every time he gives her flowers and she isn't really sure why, because in theory the feeling should lessen, and it doesn't.

Love means she looks forward to it when he calls because she's on a trip while he stayed behind, and that if she's really excited about something she'll call him instead. And she possibly should find it amusing that he takes her calls even if he's busy working, which tends to mean there's someone else adding their two cents in, to use an archaic phrase, but she does.

Loves means that sometimes, when she participates in a "Girls Night" and she is slightly inebriated, she debates with the other women whether it made more sense to leave her lab her and simply use Fast Travel, or pick an empty building in Fyrestone, should he ever ask. It's all hypothetical at this point, and they tend to wind up debating the same things every time, but Maya says it's a good sign that she wants discuss it at all.

Love means that Zed makes her feel whole.

* * *

For the people who got this far, here's some notes for you that might answer some questions you may have.

A/N: Seriously, girls, go buy yourself a floral bra. Wear it on days when the weather is just "bleh". No one else can see the bra, but you know you're wearing pretty flowers and that's all that matters. I got that from a webcomic, and it wasn't wrong.

If anyone thinks there's a reference to Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy or the movie in here, there isn't. That's just what it feels like to an autistic person when it seems like the one they're talking to doesn't understand what they're telling them. When we're worked up, we don't want you to rationalize it and show us why we're blowing things out of proportion or whatever. Sometimes, you just need to let us vent first, then do that when we've calmed down.

I randomly came up with the idea that Patricia will at times randomly desire physical contact with Zed in public, like hand holding, or kissing, and at least half the residents of Sanctuary think they're just so adorable. Zed never initiates this, though, because sometimes she just doesn't want to, and he can't really guess when those times are.

Sanctuary Girls Night. It's a thing. We all know it.

Patricia's costumes are something I've headcanoned for a while now. I might eventually write about her in at least one of them.


End file.
